The Downside of NOT Asking Questions

People Seem to Think Keeping Quiet is the Safe Choice. It Isn't Always.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

I learned a hard but VERY valuable lesson about the danger of not asking questions at the very start of my career, and I’m grateful for that to this day.

Three months after I graduated from college, I was hired as the education beat reporter for a midwestern newspaper covering four school districts, including the state’s second-largest. I was 22 and attended Catholic schools growing up, so I’d barely even stepped foot in a public school before then.

One night at a school board meeting, a particular topic was covered that I didn’t fully understand. I took diligent notes but figured everyone else – including my readers – knew what they were talking about and it was just me who was lost. I went back to the newsroom, wrote the story and submitted it only to have the night editor ask me what that part meant. I had no idea and was shocked to learn he didn’t either.

Well, at 10:30 p.m., there’s no following up with school administrators.  This was 1997, so cell phones were not commonly used, and numbers were definitely not widely distributed. So the story had to run without mention of that topic. I was mortified, and I wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

Soon after that, I was at another meeting and confused again. And this time there was a gaggle of reporters around the superintendent after the meeting. I knew I couldn’t go back with incomplete information, so I swallowed my embarrassment – sure I was about to make a fool of myself – and asked for clarification. What do you know but several other reporters took notes on the answer! It wasn’t just me who didn’t completely understand. HUH!

Can I tell you that I never felt sheepish asking a question ever again? No way. But every time I did and saw other people listening closely to the answer, the more confidence I gained in my own intelligence. I became convinced that if I didn’t understand something, there would be at least a couple others in the room who didn’t understand either.

Several years later when I traded my reporter’s notebook for a corporate marketing job at a Big 4 accounting firm, I could have never predicted the power of that mindset. By that point, I had no reservations about questioning anyone, no matter their title or tenure.  So I did. And I cannot tell you the number of people who have approached me after meetings (or chatted me on Teams during meetings) thanking me for asking a question they had too.

My question has always been, “Why are you waiting for me to ask? If you don’t understand, why don’t you speak up?”

It seems people think their bosses or coworkers will judge them harshly if they show they are not keeping up entirely. They’d rather ask someone else afterward. Do you know how risky that is? Chances are, whoever you ask after the meeting may be as confused as you are. Or they might be confident in their wrong answer. Then what?

I can tell you that when I’m leading a meeting, I would much rather field questions so I know where I am being unclear or assuming too much than have people leave the room confused. If that happens, the meeting was just a waste of everyone’s time.

And while I know for a fact that some people have bristled at my questions, I haven’t gotten feedback that I should stop altogether. I have heard many times about choosing my moments or my battles and staying in m proverbial lane. But I’ve never been told that asking for clarification of a point or further explanation of a goal is seen as detrimental.

Yes, it’s hard and even a little scary at first. So start small. But I assure you that simply asking a well-placed question or two will make your meetings more productive, your own assignments more concrete and your work life more pleasant.